That teacher of yours deserves ALL THE CAKE too. If I met him, I’d probably also make him a starter and a main course.

A teacher once said to me, ‘Are you a feminist?’ I replied that I wasn’t sure, I didn’t think so. He then said, ‘Do you think women should have equal pay and equal rights to men in the workplace?’ To which I replied, ‘Well, of course.’

‘Then you’re a fucking feminist.’ He said.

This prompted me to read up on it. It turns out I am a feminist, he was right.

Charlotte you’re being a plum. Men aren’t terrified of feminists, the smart ones aren’t anyway, they are feminists. Because you can be a feminist and hold feminist views whilst being a man. A cock and balls doesnt stop you from regarding the world as an unfair place where women are marginalised.

Honestly, I don’t care whether Charlotte individually is a feminist or not, but I do wonder for who and what she thinks she’s speaking. Women who want “help and support” but would rather faint than challenge overall male dominance in any field? She seems to be heading up a philanthropic organisation for the furtherance of individual women’s self interest (a fairly nonsensical concept when you think about it), while resisting any kind of structural change that could help women generally.

I suppose that if she ever helps enough individual women that she has an appreciable influence on the gender balance of social power, Charlotte will have to immediately disband and set up a rival service (Men On?) to help those poor chaps she’s inadvertently helped to “terrorise”…

And no, I didn’t put words in your mouth. I used the exact ones you used. Oh, wait… were those my Evil Feminist Powers at work, making you say them in the first place? I’m sorry, I just can’t take you seriously.

(The rest of the post is putting words in my mouth so no point responding)

The fact that you don’t understand true feminism does matter, because you said yourself that you’re anti-feminist. Not understanding what you’re against says A LOT about you. One of the many reasons women don’t identify as feminist is because the word “feminist” has been demonised. It’s not that it “no longer resonates” – it never gets a chance. As soon as you say you’re a feminist, you get subjected to a barrage of insults. Many women don’t want that hassle, which is understandable.

The women I work with are not victims incapable of “standing on their own two feet”. They are survivors who recognised a dreadful situation and got themselves and their families out. They most certainly are not “awarded special treatment at the expense of men.” They and their children are sheltered from men who have attacked them in every way possible. Attacks that they could not escape for a long time partly as a result of attitudes like yours, i.e. women should just shut up and take whatever is handed to them and be grateful for it.

I’m not trying to close down a debate, I’m trying to stop you from looking more like a fool than you already have done. Alas, I have failed. If you don’t want to take my advice (as you clearly don’t), it’s not my problem.

Being a feminist doesn’t preclude trying get fools and concern trolls off legitimate feminist internet forums; and you, my dear, fall into both categories. “Oh dear” indeed.