Eurogamer | I hate freedom – Sarah Ditum would ramen have fun

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I am not a real gamer. I’m just putting that out there now, in the spirit of Fat Amy, to spare anyone the trouble of investigating whether I am in fact a real gamer. I’m not. Not that I imagine those investigations would be especially time-consuming: as I understand it, the conjunction of controller and vagina is usually considered sufficient to make the diagnosis, leading to no end of false positives in the detection of not-real gamers. But in this case, it’s true. I’m as not-real as they come.

Crafting is boring. Sandboxes are tediously over-large. Put me in a FPS and I’m more likely to bumble into a corner aiming at my own feet than I am to score a headshot. Or an anything shot. The idea of these things – yes, I love the idea of these things. I think about the infinite, unscrolling worlds of No Man’s Sky and a part of my heart leaps as if I was a real explorer paused on the cusp of the unknown. I imagine delving far into a BioWare game and becoming one of those people who speaks with true affection about the alien lover whose breasts I glimpsed and heart I shattered in the deepest outposts of the galaxy.

Read the full column at Eurogamer

Reflected glory

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Issue 29 of Official PlayStation Magazine came out this week, and this here spread is my contribution to it. Well, the words are. It’s the outcome of an interview with Tom of the brilliant, brilliant Mind Hacks blog who patiently talked me through what proprioception is and why Mirror’s Edge is so good at making you feel sick when you play it. It’s the piece of paid work that I’m most proud of so far, and it comes in a magazine that’s all round pretty beautifully put together. (Nepotism detectives: check the flannel panel.)